What truly defines us?
What do you want to be when you grow up? A question we are asked at an age before we can even think for ourselves. A question that is supposed to have a single solid answer that stays stagnant from the moment you become an “adult” to the moment you die…
I am at a phase in my life where I am learning and unlearning so much. So many of the things I believe, tell myself, and put out into the world are not authentic to the life I want to live. I am learning that this life is fleeting, and no moment I have is permanent. I am unlearning the idea that was placed on a lot of us as young children, that we have to be this “one thing” and that it is the definition of our entire identity. I am learning that I am able to have a bunch of different passions, and projects in this life. I am unlearning the idea that my worth is determined by how successful I am in the eyes of others. I am learning to honor the process of life as it unfolds to me in ways I never expected.
I now know that I am not meant to be defined by the things that I do. That is not my identity.
I am constantly moving, shifting, changing, and evolving. So what I see myself as today may not be who I will be next year. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I am meant to be defined by the person I am, the morals I have, the way I treat others, and the way I treat myself. I am defined by what drives me, what lights a fire in my soul, and my intention behind why I do the things I do. I am not defined by what I contribute to this world, but instead, by the ways I do it.
I have noticed so many points throughout my journey where I have denied myself of the incredible and impactful person I am. Simply because I had not achieved a lot of the things that maybe some other people have or some things that I said I would by this time. Denied me because maybe my life, career, relationships, etc. have not turned out the way I had expected them to years ago.
I noticed that the underlying cause of a lot of problems, and the pressure I was putting on myself was the external influence that made me believe if I don’t pick a path and stick with it, then I am lost. If I don’t have my entire life figured out by the time I am a young adult then it is too late, and there is no going back. These lies, that the world whispers to me, to you, to everyone. These lies put us in a box. They hide us from the powerful, and multidimensional layers of ourselves that are actually here to follow our own specific routes.
As someone who used to, and sometimes still defines herself as an artist, designer, writer, and yoga teacher, I would get so anxious when someone asked me “So what do you do?”. Wondering how I would answer without making myself sound confused. Because in reality, I do a lot, and throughout certain points of my journey so far I have needed to focus more on one over the other. Even though I enjoy every single one of my passions, and have found ways to support myself through them. I know they don’t define me. So I let go of the fear, and anxiety that came with defining myself by what I am or what I do.
My presence is not defined by anything other than my presence. Because the truth is that I am not here to be anything. I am here to experience this life as the fullest expression of my true nature.
-xoxo Alina